The Play's the Thing
by bob-the-blue
Summary: How PIMPHARRY respondes to getting busted with the D.A. Warning: Strong Sexuality ahead. But then, that's par for the course with PIMPHARRY.


He knew they were busted. But instead of panic, Harry had a plan.

"Everyone stay calm." All the members of the D.A looked at him like he was an idiot. "I have a plan." Harry started waving his wand around the room. The furniture rearranged itself.

Harry walked over to the door, but before opening it, he turned to everyone. "Just follow my lead, and go along with whatever I say." Harry opened the door to find Umbridge, Draco and his group of idiots.

"Oh, hello Madam Umbridge. How are you this evening."

"I have you now Potter."

"You do? Really? How so?"

"Running an illegal group right under my nose."

"I would never do that Madam Umbridge. I have to much respect for the Ministry to go against one it's education decrees." Harry deserved an Oscar for that acting performance.

"Then what do you call all of this?" She indicated behind Harry.

"A theatre company. I have opened a new playhouse in Hogsmeade, and have hired on other students as actors and stage hands. You may have noticed us disappearing lately, but that has been to rehearse. If you think I'm lieing…"

"Which I do." Said the cow.

"Then I suggest you check with the ministry. Everything was filed months ago."

"But it's still against school rules to meet…"

"…for school groups and the such. Nothing was ever said about running a business. In fact, I checked the Ministry laws, and as the future head of an Ancient Family, it's my right to conduct business while in school. Especially since I'm the last of my family."

"Very well then. When is your first performance?" Umbridge knew Potter was lieing. She just needed to catch the little shit in it. But without missing a beat, Harry responded.

"June tenth. Just long enough after our end of year tests so we're at our best. Yet still here at Hogwarts long enough after to back. Of course you'll have front row seats Madam Umbridge. I insist. Free of charge. I'll send you them as soon as we start printing them up."

Umbridge scowled. "All right then Mr. Potter. But I think I shall bring the Minister along with me. As my guest. To see what you've been up to."

"Oh, I insist on it Madame Umbridge. In fact, I want as many people there as possible. I hope to sell a lot of seats. I am a popular name after all." Harry's smile sent a warning off in the dense head of Delores Umbridge.

"Potter, if this is another attempt of yours to spread your lies…."

"I swear to you this play has nothing to do current events. In fact, it's more of a historical reenactment from ancient Greece."

"Oh." Was all the woman can say.

"If you'll excuse me Madame, we really should get back to work." Harry lowered his voice. "Some of the muggleborns are very horrible, and need a lot of work. " Harry only said this to get the woman out of there. She was such a bigot.

Moments after the bitch and her winged monkeys were gone, Hermione walked up to Harry. "What was that?"

"Years of bullshitting the police paying off?" Harry asked with a sheepish smile.

"What if she really checks with the Ministry?"

"Then she'll find out I was telling her the truth." Hermione looked perplexed, which was a rare sight. "Hermione, I knew from the moment you shanghaied me into this back at the bar that we were going to get busted. Kids here are idiots for the most part. We weren't going to keep this a secret for long. So as soon as that first meeting broke up, I got to work on a back up plan for when we did get busted."

"We're going to put on a play?"

"Great cover, huh?"

"And what play are we going to performing?"

"My plan was to have an orgy on stage."

"WHAT?!"

"No, really, think about it. We use my name, and advertise it as 'life at Hogwarts under the Ministry'. Just about every witch or wizard in the country will come. They building I had built a month ago expands to hold as many people as needed."

"But you really want us to have an orgy?"

Harry shrugged. "Only those that want to." He looked around. Everyone had been listening in. He got a few nods from both genders.

Luna Lovegood happily bounced over to Harry and gave him a big hug.

"Thank you Harry. It's been my life long dream to be sandwiched in front of the Minister."

"Er…it has?" Luna nodded. "Then why didn't you tell me that before? I could have helped you out a long time ago. The World Cup could have been a lot more fun."

"Oh poo."

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Years later, it became one of the biggest debates in history books. The fall of Minister Fudge. Half the experts claimed that it was the proof that he was lying about the Dark Lord Tom Riddle. The other Half claim it was the 'Ministry approved play'. The play where over ten thousand witches and wizards from all across the world watched for three hours while a group of kids from Hogwarts engaged in the most hardcore orgy ever seen in the Wizarding World. It was Luna who suggested the enchanted chairs. The audience had to watch.

Things might not have been so bad if Luna had never heard of BDSM.

Poor Neville.

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**A/N: **I was pretty baked when I wrote this. What do you guys think?

Personally, I like this new PIMPHARRY universe I've started to play with…..

Though, progress is being made on my other stories. Stay tuned.


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